


Different Always

by Junker



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-03
Updated: 2018-03-03
Packaged: 2019-03-26 06:12:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13851756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Junker/pseuds/Junker
Summary: Vetra and Kesh go for a walk through the Nexus while it's still in construction. Kesh surprises Vetra by stopping the walk to make a stumbling confession.





	Different Always

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Wintertree](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wintertree/gifts).



> A treat for Wintertree! This is my favourite Andromeda ship thank you for requesting it! I hope you like it!

Vetra’s eyes widened as she walked onto the Nexus. She’d been there before, but every visit seemed like the first time. So much was added and built and changed each time, and every once and awhile she’d notice a scrap of technology that she herself had managed to scrounge up for the Initiative.

She smiled to herself as she walked down the hallways to Kesh’s makeshift office. It was almost odd to think she’d be going into a cryopod soon. When she entered Kesh’s office, she found Sid curled up on a sofa reading on a datapad. Kesh stood at a desk with her eyes darting between several different datapads and her computer. Vetra knew Kesh’s quick mind was trying to process a lot of information at once. “Hey,” Sid absently said with her attention fully on the novel.

“Hey kiddo,” Vetra said.

Kesh’s eyes met Vetra’s nearly instantly, and Vetra found a knot forming in her throat. Kesh always had too much on her plate, and it was intimidating when she found all of Kesh’s attention on her. She loved it, sure, but Vetra wondered what she did that deserved it, and she worried she was a burden to her.

“I got your supplies,” Vetra said. “They’re being unloaded in Docking Bay 3 right now.”

“Beautiful,” Kesh said before she started to type on her computer. “I swear everything’s getting done twice as fast because of you.”

Vetra laughed and rubbed the back of her neck. “I don’t know about that.”

Kesh didn’t look up from her work as she said, a bit indifferently, “You’re phenomenal.”

Vetra couldn’t decide if she’d prefer if Kesh had looked at her when she said it or not. Everything Kesh did seemed calculated and thought through. Had Kesh decided to compliment her like this - off-handily and without looking at her? Was she just not worth her full attention? Did she even want it?

Vetra watched Kesh scratch at her headplate with one hand and type with the other. Spirits, as intimidating as Kesh’s attention was, Vetra wanted it - in full. She had never met a person so driven and devoted. She loved watching Kesh work.

“Was there anything else?” Vetra asked. “Or should I walk a lap through the Nexus while you figure that out?”

Kesh didn’t reply immediately. The only sound was her heavy fingers against the keyboard. She finally said, “Wait here a minute and then I’ll take that lap with you.”

“Oh, okay,” Vetra said.

Vetra lifted Sid’s legs and sat down before placing her sister’s legs back over her lap. Sid looked up from her datapad to offer her a smile, and Vetra returned it. Neither said anything out of fear of interrupting Kesh. Neither of them had ever been told off for talking too much, and Vetra knew Sid had talked a lot and asked tons of questions in the beginning.

But they were careful now. Kesh had treated them with a kindness neither had expected, and she carried the Nexus’ weight on her broad shoulders. Vetra busied herself with her own datapad until Kesh said, “All right read to go. You wanna come with, Sid?”

Sid shook her head. “I’ll just keep reading.”

Kesh nodded, and Vetra untangled herself from Sid before joining her. “I’m going to lock you in,” Kesh said.

“Sounds good,” Sid replied.

The pair headed up, and Kesh locked the door behind her. When they started to walk, Kesh said, “Did you know she’s reading some steamy Quarian-Turian relations novel?”

Vetra tried to act nonchalant. She had transferred the novel to Sid’s datapad herself. “Yeah.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for strong leading ladies falling in love with each other,” Kesh said, “I just thought maybe she was a little young for it.”

Vetra shrugged. “Better she read about it and start experiencing it safely than start messing around already with strangers. I mean, if we were in a, uh-”

“If you hadn’t been raising her on Omega, you wouldn’t worry so much about who she’s experimenting with.”

Vetra nodded. “Right. I can’t stop her from feeling what she’s feeling - and I don’t want to. So I have to figure out a way to nurture her without risking her wandering off on Omega. She thinks she can take care of herself completely, and while I don’t want to stifle that confidence either, in a lot of ways she still can’t take care of herself. You know what kids are like.”

Kesh shrugged. “I guess.”

Vetra stopped walking. She had spoken without thinking of the Genophage. “Spirits, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean-”

Kesh shook her head and offered Vetra a half-hearted smile. “It’s fine.”

Vetra wasn’t sure it was, but she caught up to Kesh. Vetra tried to find something else to talk about. Why did she always find herself saying the wrong thing? She quickly said, “I really appreciate you taking us in.”

Kesh laughed. “You tell me that every time I see you. I know, Vetra.”

Vetra hunched over a bit sheepishly. “I know - I just-”

Kesh stopped walking and grabbed Vetra’s arms so Vetra would look directly at her. Vetra straightened as Kesh’s eyes burrowed into her. That knot started in her throat again. Spirits, she’d never seen someone with such beautiful eyes before. As nervous as it made her, she loved when they focussed on her. “Vetra, some sicko threatened your sister because - what - because of a few credits?”

Vetra shrugged. “I mean, some merchandise I hadn’t realized was stolen-”

Kesh repeated, “A few credits. Even if you hadn’t been the best at acquisitions, I would have taken you two in. Even if I hadn’t been at the most secure place in the galaxy right now, I would have taken you two in.”

Vetra softened and looked away from Kesh’s eyes. She knew she was supposed to feel good hearing it, but she just felt like another weight on Kesh’s shoulders - another responsibility the krogan was just expected to carry because - why? Because she was big and muscular? Because she was competent? 

“Vetra, you’re one of the strongest people I’ve ever met,” Kesh said. “I know you only ask me for favours when you really need it and, honestly, I wish I could read your mind so you’d never have to ask. I know it’s not easy depending on another person, but you can always depend on me.”

Vetra laughed a bit awkwardly and brushed off Kesh’s hands to keep walking. Everything Kesh had said was a compliment, but Vetra felt as if she had fooled her somehow. She felt sick. “But everyone depends on you,” Vetra said. “You can only take so much on.”

Kesh hadn’t moved from her position. She said, firmly, “I want you with me.”

Vetra turned, and Kesh suddenly seemed a bit flustered. She avoided Vetra’s eye as she scratched at her headplate and quickly added, “I want both of you with me and safe.”

Kesh’s eyes slowly rose to meet Vetra’s. They stood in silence in the corridor for a moment. There was no one else around, and Kesh’s words seemed to hang in the air. Kesh’s nervousness was adorable. Vetra loved seeing her cautious and busying herself with her claws.

Vetra had never lied to herself about being attracted to Kesh. She liked tough people who could take care of themselves. Perhaps there was a bit of confusion - like do I want to be like her, or do I want to be with her? - but Vetra’s main problem was that she hadn’t ever really thought she’d have romance in her life. It was hard imagining anyone would be interested in her. She always worried about being left behind, and she was scared to let alone that close only for them to crush her later.

Kesh said, “I don’t want you to feel obligated to - to-”

She cut her own words off and waited. Vetra chuckled, and Kesh cautiously watched her. Vetra said, “Neither of us can say it, can we?”

Kesh smiled. “I didn’t want to bring it up if we weren’t on the same page.”

“I think we are,” Vetra said, a bit slowly.

Kesh said, “I’m interested in you romantically. You care about your family. You’re driven. You’re smart. You know when you have to take shit and when to throw it back. And when we’re alone in a room - either just you and me or with our family too - I just feel,” she paused and searched for the words, “at peace. Like I can accomplish anything, but if it’s too hard, I know you’ll have my back.”

Vetra tried to take apart what she said quickly, but what stuck with her was how Kesh said, “Our family.” She wasn’t sure if she meant Drack or her entire clan, but it wasn’t just that. Kesh considered Sid part of her family. She already combined their families together. Vetra never had that before, and she felt emotions swelling up with her.

When Vetra didn’t reply, Kesh said, “But please don’t feel pressured. I’ll protect Sid regardless, and I won’t bring it up again if you’re not interested. We’re travelling a long way together and I don’t want to disrupt our friendship. I know I’m a little rough around the edges and, yeah, I work too much-”

Vetra’s long strides filled the space between them as she hugged Kesh against her. Kesh’s hands hesitated at Vetra’s sides, not quite touching her, and Vetra hugged her tighter. She rested her head against the side of Kesh’s. It was odd to hold someone whose height was so close to her own. And Kesh’s thick body felt good in her arms. Like her long arms were made to hold Kesh.

Kesh’s hands tentatively touched Vetra’s back before slowly drawing her tighter against her. She softly laughed, and Vetra nuzzled against the side of her face. Kesh said, “So we were on the same page.”

“Completely,” Vetra said. “I want to try this, though I have a feeling the first 600 years will be easy.”

Laughing, Kesh lifted Vetra up as she hugged her again. Vetra loved how easily Kesh could literally sweep her off her feet, and when they parted, Vetra reached out for Kesh’s hand and Kesh took it. The pair returned to walking through the Nexus, and Kesh pointed out interesting features or aspects that Vetra’s requisitions helped with.

Kesh stopped abruptly again, and Vetra held strong onto her hand. Part of her wondered if Kesh had changed her mind. Kesh said, “You know, I was originally a bit worried about my entire clan venturing off into the unknown like this. We’re a formidable race and I’m sure we can adapt to a lot of places, but,” her voice trailed off, and Vetra waited for Kesh to find the words. “We’re depending on other species to work willingly with us, and let’s be honest, historically people only want us to work and not participate. I guess, it’s just - I feel like you and I see the world the same way, and I care so much about you. If I feel that way about someone in another species, certainly we can all manage to work together, right?”

Vetra nodded. She didn’t want to step on Kesh’s thoughts about other culture’s reactions to the Krogans. The Krogan being mistreated in Andromeda wasn’t something she even considered, and Vetra knew in her gut that Kesh was right to be worried.

Kesh laughed and said, “And if not, I have the best person in the galaxy to keep us on the supply line.”

Vetra laughed as well and said, “I don’t know about the best person in the galaxy, but you’ll have me.”

Kesh softly squeezed her hand and said, “I guess what I’m trying to say is, it’s not nearly as worrying as it once was. All this time I’ve spent with you - I feel confident that we’ll make our time in Andromeda work. And you and Sid will always have a place with us, if you need it.”

Vetra nodded. She knew she and Sid could survive a lot of hardship, but the Andromeda Initiative offered so much more than just survival. Still, there was that bit of experience and fear that nipped at the back of her mind. It reminded her that if she was abandoned in Andromeda, it’d be that much harder to survive and protect Sid. It would be completely foreign, and she wouldn’t always know what to be cautious of let alone how to survive the night.

She doubted Kesh, and she ached because of it. What if they broke up? What if it was a bad break up? What if they couldn’t maintain an easy friendship? What if something happened to Kesh on the flight? It was comforting hearing Kesh say they always had a place in her clan, but experience told her “always” never really meant “forever.”

Then she thought of how much Kesh cared for Sid - hell, how much Drack cared for Sid. And then Vetra started to doubt her own experiences. Krogans lived for so long and experienced so much - “always” certainly had to mean longer for them than it did for most people. Maybe she could trust Kesh’s “always” even if it didn’t mean “forever.”

Kesh asked, “You all right?”

Vetra nodded. “I just -” she thought about dumping all of her baggage on Kesh. Kesh watched her with interest, ready to share the burden, but Vetra just said, “I really appreciate it. I can’t seem to find the words.”

Kesh put her hands on either side of Vetra’s head, just behind her mandibles. Vetra loved the feeling of it, with Kesh’s thumbs lightly rubbing the carapace there. It was so soothing. Kesh smiled as she watched Vetra’s eyes. “I understand, it’s okay.”

And as Vetra watched Kesh back, she believed her. She believed she understood everything rattling around in Vetra’s head - all the doubts and fears and excitement and heartache. Vetra hugged Vetra against her again, and Kesh kissed her forehead.

“This will be certainly an adventure,” Kesh said, “but you and me – and Sid – we’re going to make it a good one.”

Vetra smiled and nodded. And for once, Vetra believed someone else’s words without any doubts.

**Author's Note:**

> (Since the authors are revealed, I'm slapping up my links!)
> 
> • [Twitter](https://twitter.com/JunkerFics) • [Tumblr](https://junkerfics.tumblr.com/) • [Pillowfort](https://www.pillowfort.io/Junker) • 


End file.
